A New Flame
by sarathesmall
Summary: Tovi, a refugee of the Varden, has been thrown into events larger than she has ever known. With the help of others she will turn to be the light in one of the darkest nights in Alagaesia. NOT ANOTHER "NEW RIDER" FIC. Takes place in Brisingr and Inheritance, rated M for adult situations, graphic violence, and mature themes. OC/Carn: romance OC/multiple characters: friendship
1. A New Perspective

Bringing this back from hiatus with a beta!

Summery: Tovi, a refugee in the Varden, a nothing who lost all.  
>Another side to the story everyone loves to read, about a girl who would be the new flame after the night has reigned. Takes place during Brisinger, Inheritance, and afterwords.<p>

Major Shipping: mostly friendship and romance, in depth

~OC/Carn

~OC/Roran

~Roran/Katrina

Minor Shipping: touched upon, but not really explored

~Arya/Eragon

~Nasuada/Murtagh

M for violence, some language, adult themes (non-explicit rape attempt in chapter 3 included)

* * *

><p>The usual clamor of clanking armor and animals being herded to graze was what woke Tovi as usual. She fought the allure of a warm cot as she tore the blanket off, the cold air attacking her bare skin. Tovi struggled to keep her eyes open and stretched as far as the tent her, Nana, and Oliver shared. Tovi turned to the cot she rose from and wrapped little Oliver warmly in the rest of the blanket. Her Nana's little nephew was seeming very precious all curled up on their shared, stained cot. It killed her how someone so young could endure through so much without the reminder from the burn marks on his neck and shoulders.<p>

Tovi snuck a small kiss and made sure Nana was warm as well, placing her cane in reach of the cot from where it had fallen. She ran her fingers through the knot's in her hair as well as she could in the dark and felt around for the worn handle of her comb. Tovi threw on a shawl over her nightclothes, a move Nana would scold her for ("I didn't raise you to show skin for anyone who fancies it!") and walked to the bucket outside the tent to wash her face, the morning chill unforgiving, giving her goose-flesh.

The early morning gave her hair a look more to a shade of black than the dark brown it really was, and her bangs would not stay out of her eyes no matter how she tried to tie them back with the rest of her hair.

Tovi froze as she felt a hand on her shoulder. In one movement she grabbed the wrist and twisted forcefully, stopping only when she heard a familiar voice exclaim,

"Ow! Tovi!"

She looked up to see the strained expression on the face of her best friend, Carn. She lessened her grip and let go of him immediately, "Carn! How many times do I have to tell you! I'm tense in the morn-"

"-you're always like that!"

"-for good reason! And you know just as well as I! A simple 'Morning, Tovi' works too!"

Carn rubbed his wrist where she had twisted it, "I'm sorry, but easy on the grip, will you?". Tovi sat on the crates by the tent, shifting over for Carn to sit by her, he slumped next to her and exhaled deeply, both of them sitting silently as the day drew steadily brighter.

"So why did you come so early, aren't you with your Vu Gata Drangr of something?"

"It's _Du Vrangr Gata_-"

"-does it matter?", Tovi said irritably, she was still on edge that early in the morning.

"Yes, it does. But that's beside the point, and no not yet, they said I would be assigned by Nasuada today, but didn't give me details."

Tovi froze, it wasn't the first time that he had brought up assignment but the idea continued to make her throat tighten and her palms break into cold sweat. Tovi let her bangs fall over her eyes for once and busied herself with a stain before speaking again, she exhaled deeply and wiped her hand on her frayed shawl.

"Oh, Lady Nasuada, someone seems to be connected," she teased.

Carn's blue eyes darted away for a moment, embarrassed, but clearly pleased, with the way he ran his fingers through his soft brown curls, "Well not….her directly, but you know…"

They heard a noise inside the tent, the soft groan of the wooden frame of a cot.

"Blast it, that'll be Nana, meet me at the usual spot will you?"

"Of course _Milady,_" he leapt off the crate and started for the well-worn path, "I have nowhere to be until 'noon."

"Great, meet you there- hurry, or Nana will tan us both!"

Tovi watched as Carn disappeared behind a throng of archers beforing heading back into the tent, meeting the Nana's hard look. She eyed her for a moment, "You weren't with that boy, again?"

Tovi huffed, "he's not 'that boy'"

"So you were with him?", said Nana, her eyes narrowing.

"And what if I was? Why does it matter, we're only friends."

Nana rolled her eyes and set herself to folding the sheets. "Acquaintances, friends, lovers…"

"Nana!"

"Love, all I'm saying-don't give me that look! The young men of the varden are what we depend on, but even they have urges-"

"Nana, for the last time, and you know this as well as I. We are _friends_."

"It's improper!" reasoned the aged caregiver, though Tovi had feigned deafness to the usual tongue-wagging she gave her.

Tovi changed out of her night-clothes and into her fading tunic and leggings, she groped around by her cot for her trousers and soft leather boots, cracked and worn with use, which she laced to the knee. She tightened her braid and ran her fingers through her unruly bangs.

"Sweetheart you know your dear old Nana worries for you, most girls your age have settled down , made a family…even if the circumstances aren't the brightest- but this! Running wild while you're a young woman- wearing trousers as if you hadn't been raised properly! What would M'lord and your mother-"

The tent went silent as Tovi glared through the dim light of early morning, only faltering when she snatched her arrows and bow. She slung her dagger, strung on a leather thong, around her neck. "Don't speak of my mother to me," she said in a hushed tone through a clenched jaw before pushing past the tent flaps.

The usual spot where Carn and Tovi would meet at throughout the week, in breaths between the hectic life of a refugee in the Varden was a quiet, light hillside on the outskirts of camp where they caught game to sell and salt for later use. Carn was already there, his own hunting pack at hand, waving to her as she was in the distance. His usual light demeanor dimmed as his brown eyes met the glare in her green ones.

"Did you and Nana have a row again?"

"I don't want to talk about it Carn." she hissed as she began to go through her pack.

He eyed her warily, but knew better than to press on, but before the awkward silence could go on much longer, Tovi inquired aloud, feeling sorry for dragging her friend into her mood, " So what have we got?"

"Rabbit's are plenty, I think I might have seen a doe or stag… maybe even a bear?"

"A bear? Surda really is strange, Naught like Trojenheim's mountains at all."

"Well, that's the Varden… we move, and move, and keep going until that bastard king decides otherwise."

Tovi nocked one of her arrows and held her stance for a few tense moments, letting her arrow finally fly , a clean hit through the rabbit's eye. "Get it for me?"

Carn mumbled something unintelligible and the rabbit slowly rose and moved its way toward Tovi, on its own in mid-air. She spotted Can with brows furrowed in concentration and slightly flushed, the rabbit landing neatly b their feet.

"Show off."

Carn chuckled, "I'm nothing like those elves though- Eragon as well, their amazing!"

This caught Tovi's attention immediately, "You got to see the elves and Eragon?" she said excitedly, she then groaned and slumped on the ground, "Lucky bastard".

Carn grinned at her reaction, "It was fascinating…and alarming all at the same time, I rememberwhen one of our own at the Du Vrangr Gata had to connect minds with one of those elves, reckon he hasn't been the same since."

"Old Marn? The news travelled fast, heard from Morgana actually."

"I think their odd, them elves," Carn admitted, taking aim for another rabbit.

"Really?"

"They just do not seem right…" he said before letting his arrow reach it's intended.

"Well, you can't expect them to, they're not human," Tovi reasoned

"I know, but it's more than that… it is hard to explain but it's like they're magic themselves, it's not right".

"You sound like Nana again, half of tonight's earnings say that is the same reason she doesn't like you much either".

"You really should not gamble at those taverns"

"I'll decide what I should or should not do."

"You never know, Tovi, those men had not had a woman's touch in some time, it is not safe," he warned, but Tovi couldn't help but notice the tips of his ears turning a shade of red they didn't often take and his sudden interest in his pack.

"but remember, that's why you accompany me"

"You can't expect me to protect you against all those men you cheated!"

"Now who asked you to protect me?", she loved riling Carn up, he would get flustered so easily.

Carn groaned laid down on his back, plucking at the blades of grass one by one, "You will be the death of me, you know"

"Let's hope so, better than you getting cut up by some soldier, because then I might just have to kill Galbatorix myself", she said, laying next to him with arms and legs outstretched.

Carn laughed, "Now, _that_ will be a sight to see"

"You do not think I would be able?" she said, shoving him teasingly.

"'tis not so… but honestly," he said his tone becoming somber, "Well, no one wishes to admit it a such, but if Eragon and Saphira can't even face Murtagh…"

"Murtagh?"

"Oh, he is the Rider everyone was talking about he appeared on the Burning Plains, the one Galbatorix managed to receive a hatchling for"

"The one with the red dragon?"

"The same, there are rumors that the use of magic made them stronger, more of a match to Saphira and her rider."

"Magic." Tovi spat.

"Magic." Carn agreed, his face suddenly contorted in focus as he layed on the ground, frozen for several moments. Tovi propped herself upright, watching him until he returned to face her.

"Trianna?", she recognized the expression, someone was holding a mental connection with him.

"Indeed, I have been assigned! Captain Martland Redbeard tomorrow at daybreak."

These words struck Tovi, she knew these were words that Carn was expected to celebrate, though she could not help the chill in her skin, the sudden feeling that the ground under her had turned to an unnatural angle, or the tightness in her throat as images of contorted bodies of men flashed threw her mind without consent.

"Oh, that's…good," Tovi said, pulling her knees up, hugging them to her chest.

"Good? Tovi, this is wonderful- I can finally prove myself!"

" What it get killed in the process?" she lashed.

"Do not be as such, the Varden needs all the magicians they have!"

"I know!", she said, she truly did but a piece her believed in the cause, a cause her family and friends died for, and if not as a result of their cause, however a stone in her abdomen got larger. "-but that is only because hardly any one comes back!"

Tovi didn't remember rising, but found herself on her feet, slinging her bow and the few rabbits they shot over her shoulder, and storing her arrows to be cleaned for later use.

She refused to meet Carn's gaze.

"Tovi!", Carn's voice called after her again and again, as she headed back toward camp from the usual spot, her back to him, hoping it could continue to be their usual spot.

Tears trailed along her cheeks as she ignored his calls.

* * *

><p>Type me a little review with your thoughts and storyfavourite for more!


	2. Eight days

Please overlook basic grammar slip ups

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>It didn't take much longer for Tovi to regret what she had done. She breathed in through her nose hard and blinked away any tears that dared cross the threshold of her eyes without consent. Tovi knew she had hurt Carn but he had to know he wasn't the only one hurting. She couldn't bring herself to come to terms with what was happening. Her train of thought was cut off as she felt a large gust of wind pushing at her from behind, and gazed in awe as she saw Saphira, a magnificent sight as she leapt over dozens of crowded tents and let the wind lift her before pumping her wings and reaching a height to challenge gods, her scales shining brilliantly with the silhouette of her rider, Eragon, on her back. Her eyes smarted as dust blew into them, she shuddered at the thought of another being even greater and stronger than the pair, recalling what Carn had told her back at the hill.<p>

She cleaned her arrows and roasted the rabbits Nana prepared (Tori could kill something, but never had the stomach to skin or clean them) and even stayed silent when asked to hang the bed sheets, a tedious chore, her mind filled with what had happened.

Carn had been her best mate ever since the Varden was in the battle of Farthen Dur. It was Jonah, mother, and father until…._No, I can't think of that now, _she thought forcefully, scrubbing the thrice-damned bed sheets against the washboard until her hands were red and raw.

Her father had supported the Varden secretly from their mill in Therinsford, they had a respectable amount of land and business was good, they were even hiring laborers from other villages and towns as far as Carvahall. It had all fallen apart when someone managed to trace the steady amount of funds being sent to Trojenheim and the next day all their belongings, the land and the mill, were ashes by noon. Many of their servants died when the fire started on their side of the manor, save for Nana and Oliver, who still had burn marks, and some of the kitchen staff. Her family was on a small barge provide by an associate of her father named Jeod to Trojenheim to seek refuge with the Varden in a matter of weeks.

When they arrived they had taken in by a sympathetic clan of knurlan, who cared for her after she had nowhere else to turn to. It was loss after loss for her and she smiled faintly as Tovi remembered how Carn reckoned she cried the entire way from Farthen Dur to Surda. Tovi touched the 3 piercings in her left ear, a gift which guaranteed welcome from the knurlan's Dûrgrimst, should she ever return, and a wave of abandonment crashed on her, threatening to suffocate her, even after all that time.

Tovi remembered first meeting Carn, the party she was travelling with had stopped for shelter and all she could remember was misery. The hardship of travel, the thirst, hunger, and cold, were insignificant after the loss of all her family. She was eating what little game she could find and eat without churning her stomach, how spoiled she was then, and still sniffling for what seemed years before someone even looked at her. Everyone had their own problems, their own losses, why should they concern themselves with another orphan?

Carn did.

The travelling party had to take a long route, lest they face bandits and the winds were merciless. She wrapped her ragged shawl around her tighter, deaf to the world around her until she noticed someone standing in front of her. Tall, near-lanky from travel, but with a look of sympathy. Wordlessly, he sat by her and offered her a sugar cube, a substance worth more than gold at the time. She was about 15 when at the time, Carn only being a few years old, 4 or 3 she had guessed. They didn't talk much that night but it was just that which brought them together. Tovi never really learned his story, but his grey eyes said they understood. She remembered him talking of a sister once or twice but that's all she knew, not even his home town.

The last bed sheet was washed, wringed, and hung while the sky was turning a shade of pink and orange, the moon out already on one side of the heavens. She grabbed a small pouch of salted and dried rabbit and some berries, a few leaves of Merrion and mint and thought of heading out to the tavern for business,

The Varden didn't have much of well anything, really, which made gambling a thriving business, and who wouldn't bet against little Tovi and her slight built in an arm wrestling match against any one of the men of the Varden? No one. Usually Carn was there to settle any…disagreements, a little magic flare scared off most. She usually wouldn't go without him, but with a raid tomorrow, many men would be there. As much as he didn't like the racket they ran together, he knew they would hardly have enough to eat, even if he didn't like to admit it.

The game was simple, but efficient. The sights and smells of the worn tavern were familiar to her and she always had the old barhand Rigby eye on her, who she also gave a little commission to keep his mouth shut about how she'd win against men three time their build. The story behind how she did it was a strange one at that. She hardly believed it herself.

While in Teirm, waiting for the barge, Tovi strode off to wander along the streets when she came across the most peculiar shop. A small blond woman, stirring something that smelled like anything Tovi desired, but had the appearance of something poorly digested, was by the windows. Tovi tried to ask her what she was doing, but she hadn't even received a glance, the odd woman ignored her as she muttered to an open book. However, when she approached a slender cat lounging on one of the cabinets, the woman addressed her, "Don't do it, Tovi".

_How did she know my name?_ Tovi thought, and she asked just that.

"Well, it's written all over your face." She said without even glancing from her book.

"My face?" Tovi echoed.

"Yes, your face," the yellow haired woman agreed, "Most people have them written on the spine of a book in fancy lettering, or in their head, but no: for you, its face".

"Is that a good thing?"

"Depends on how you look at it. You're going to Ttrojenheim, no?"

"Yes, but how—"

"— I should head there soon, not now, but soon. I think I'll pack tomorrow."

"Wait! Why?" Tovi was left behind every time she tried to keep up with what she was saying.

The woman stopped and gave her a hard look for a few moments before turning around and throwing some papers into a pack."Because it'll be interesting! Oh, and before you go, here are some Merrion leaves, don't spit it until you put mint under your tongue"

"Why would I need this?" she asked bewilderedly as the stranger thrusted the strangely smelling leaves into her palm.

"How else are you going to make money?" She replied with a matter-of-fact tone.

"Why would I-?"

"Must I spell it out for you? Solembum, go pack, we're leaving" – the cat leapt down and walked off- "You have people bet against you, chew the leaves, spit into your palm, put the mint under your tongue until you win, then spit that out too".

"How do you know this?"

"Because he told me," she said pointing to where the cat was, suddenly Tovi found herself pushed past the threshold of the door.

"Wait!" Tovi pleaded for what seemed the tenth time, her hand full of leaves, putting her foot between the door and the wall so it wouldn't shut. "What's your name?"

The woman gave her a wicked smile before opening the door widely and kissing her on the cheek.

"Angela." and with that, slammed the door.

It was the strangest experience of her life.

It was done, word of the racket grew at the Taverns and crowds of men competed, determined to beat her, would line up before her table. Those who lost even went back in line in hope of winning their earnings back. Tovi did just as the witch told her: Chew the leaves, put mint under the tongue, spit into palm. The substance in her palm dried fast and numbed part of am arm that made contact with her, so even if you thought you were putting all your strength behind it, all Tovi felt as resistance was dead weight.

Tovi tied back her hair into a manageable bun and started for the tent flap, but hesitated. It didn't feel right to head out without Carn, they would have easily been able to walk back to the camp with jingling pockets that night if they were to go, but it felt as though she was going behind his back if she passed through those tavern doors, she knew he would have waited for if the instances were switched. She left the leaves behind and picked up her dagger instead, she felt around her cot for her small leather pouch of salted and dried rabbits and a handful of berries, determined to clear her head with some night air.

It was dark out, but Tovi still looked over the town, no sight of Carn, her blood chilled as his tent empty as well. She passed a guard she recognized and asked, failing to hide her desperation, "Argus, have you seen Carn?'

The sentry blinked at her, "Carn? I saw him leave with some others around sunset, my apologies".

Tovi was speechless until a choked noise came from her throat. She ran off to the usual place where she had hunted earlier, she couldn't go back to the tent in that state, Nana would have had even more reason to be suspicious had she learned the reason for her distress, _Not that it mattered what she thought even more. He's gone now and you pushed him away_ said a voice, mocking Tovi somewhere inside her.

The quiet hillside made her feel as though she were the only one left in Alagaeasia, a dull ache in her chest but no tears came. She was hallow, but mostly, she was alone. "-_-first mother leaves, now Carn-_", she shivered in the night and made herself a small fire, the crackle of wood calming and the dancing flames mesmerizing.

"Tovi?"

Tovi looked around, unable to see the location of the voice, she unsheathed her dagger and cursed inwawrdly for not bringing her bow and arrows instead.

"Name yourself! Who are you?"

"Tovi, it's me!" the silhouette moved closer until she could identify the voice.

It was Carn.

Tovi dropped her dagger and ran at him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. She sobbed into the crook of his neck, bruising herself lightly due to how tightly pressed she was to his chain mail.

"What's wrong? I'm not dead yet. Come now, deep breaths, Tovi."

She hit his chest and swore, a pathetic attempt at a smile reached her lips as she chocked up, trying to compose herself, "You bastard, t-they told me- they said y-you left!"

"Breathe! Some of us are going by morning that was just the scouting party, I was just placing some wards for them."

"You need to forgive me! I was being selfish! I had no righ-"

"Come now, I came back to say I'll see you again!"

Tovi caught herself, "Your too good for me, Carn". She dug in her pack for a moment and picked out the little pouch she had filled with salted rabbit. She shuffled toward him and tied the leather thong around his neck.

"I know how magic tires you out so, it's not much but this should keep you on your feet during battle," she looked up at him, a soft smile on her lips, "You know, just in case."

"And this is for if I take… longer than expected," Carn bent down and lifted her shin up with one hand and kissed her. Lips slightly parted, he pressed lightly against hers, as if waiting for her to respond, to which she did. Pushing back against him for a few more precious moments, but like all moments, it ended.

Tovi put out the fire and lifted her small pack. Carn her her hand as they went down the hill, the usual spot growing smaller in the distance. She laughed out loud, breaking the silence.

"What?" Carn asked, bemused.

"Nana is really going to hate you know," and he laughed too.

They reached her tent, the sounds of camp and crickets filled the night, "eight days?" she asked.

"eight days." he repeated, giving her a final hug.

"I'll be waiting".

* * *

><p>Review away, m'dears.<p> 


	3. Blame and Bruise

So this is chapter 3 and this is somewhat a transitional chapter, giving a bit of background on Tovi and all that jazz. Please overlook little grammar errors.

* * *

><p>Her mother looked at her with tearful eyes, though she smiled. Tovi inched as close as she could to her mother, whose knuckles were white from how tight she held the dagger, father's dagger, maddeningly close to her chest. She pleaded desperately,<p>

"Mother please...please, do not follow them, what about me and Jonah-"

"Tovi? Fetch your brother I want to see him one more time," she said airily, not aware that her son was miles beneath some damnable mountain in Farthen Dur.

"Mother listen to me," her voice was getting higher in pitch as she tried to prevent herself from crying out. "Just put the knife down, please just listen it'll be okay-"

Her mother looked sharply at her, "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" she screamed, but Tovi was somewhat relieved that she had finally gotten a reaction out of her, a little more life in those vacant eyes.

"Jonah will be back, father wouldn't have wanted this..." She inched closer, her hands wrapped around her mother's, which was still clenched to the dagger. A choking sound started from her and she loosened her grip.

"How do you know?" she muttered, "_How do you know?_"

_THWAK_

"Shit!" Tovi swore as she rose from her cot suddenly, her head throbbing in pain where the support pole of her tent made contact with her forehead. She grimaced in pain and clutched at the reddening spot as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. It wasn't the first time she had a dream- no, a nightmare- - of the times her mother had tried to kill herself, only succeeding a few days after the incident that had disturbed her sleep, when she had only just passed her 16th name day.

There was a cold sheen of sweat all over her body that chilled her to the bone when a gust of wind managed to go through the tent. Nana and her Oliver were still sound asleep and when the tent flaps rose a little with a gust of air, she saw it would be dawn in an hour or so. Tovi wrapped herself in a faded shawl and went to rinse her face, the camp was too quiet at this early in the day, yet she found the stillness somewhat calming. She sat on the crate outside where Carn usually joined her and ran a hand through the knots in her hair, unmotivated to search for her comb.

She exhaled deeply and tried to meditate like the dwarves once taught her to. She got on the ground, cold and hard packed earth beneath her, and tucked her legs under her, bending at the knee. She turned her palms out and against her thigh and breathed deeply, getting air from as far down her chest as she could. She calmed down and leaned against the crate, and wondered what Carn was doing now. Was he still sleeping? Double over gasping from some foolish attempt at a spell?

She place her finger on her lips absentmindedly, Carn had kissed her that night.

_Her_ Carn.

But why? He had definitely never shown interest in her and spirits knew she had noticed.

It really had taken her by surprise, but she would be lying to herself if there had not been close calls before, a tense moment where one or the other pulled away. She had surprised herself, she hadn't pulled away in confusion, no, she went and kissed him right back-

A voice called from inside the tent, "Tovi, is that you out there?"

"Yes, Nana"

"Dress yourself and make a run to Kyla, I already gave her boy the coppers for the milk and I need you to pick it up."

"Of course, just give me a mo'", she replied. She mentally shook herself and got dressed in her usual tunic and leggings, slipping the leather boots over them. She didn't have many clothes, the options weren't exactly endless she thought as she peered under her cot where she stored everything. Tovi did a double take as she noticed of something bulky and pulled the fabric from under the cot.

She turned to her Nana, "What is this?"

"Don't act ignorant, it's a bodice."

"I know what it is, but _why_ is this?"

"Well, Lara said it didn't suit her and offered it to me for a reasonable price, spirits know you'll need it."

Tovi scoffed, "You can take it back, and you shouldn't have spent those coppers on something unnecessary."

Nana placed a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes, "Yes, how unnecessary of me to assume you don't need a man in your life, no please, don't come back to me when you die alone in a cold bed."

Tovi shook the bodice, "and this is supposed to help?"

"Running around in a shapeless tunic, people will finally notice you in that! Even Lara's daughter is wearing one."

"And Lara's daughter is a painted whore," she had tried to reason.

"Don't use that language here!"

"Fine, I'll keep the bodice! Don't go expecting me to wear it." She couldn't even imagine if she had walked into the tavern or the market with that on, no one would ever take her seriously. She could hear Carn laughing from here. Nana was exhausting, one minute she claims rumors of her legs open, the next she buys a bodice. Besides, she liked her tunics. Father never objected to her less feminine tendencies even when her mother threw fits. She was subjected to the will of a governess for a portion of her life, but was always allowed to learn archery, riding, and even sword-fighting later on, with not much to complain with her talent (or lack of) at cross-stitching. Her mother would never admit it, but her hand with a throwing knife spoke otherwise to her beliefs on defense. After Galbatorix's soldiers set the land ablaze, a way with a sword and knowing how to nock an arrow became the difference between starving and being able to rise to meet the next day. The rations the Varden provided were only ever enough, the skill she took for granted was no longer only a way to one-up her older brother.

Her brother Jonah was assigned to a scouting party before the Burning Plains, which hadn't been so long ago either, now that Tovi thought about it, and she hadn't heard of him since. The party hadn't been very large, only a dozen or so men, give or take. However, only 4 managed to return, permanently deformed and most nearly on the brink of dementia, only one that was able to recount what had occurred. By the time they had reached the camp, the only information they managed to gather from the men was of "those who didn't die" and whoever had managed to lose all sense would just repeat of they laughed, whoever they were.

Jonah was the only family she had left at the time; no one knew what had happened, if he were alive, if he were dead. No bard cared to sing his tale.

Days without Carn moved slowly, but thankfully Nana didn't let her sit and depress herself with all the errands she had for her. Tovi was halfway through one chore when she was charged to go finish another. It had neared sunset when she was able to avoid her old caregiver, and headed to the tavern to do her usual business.

She would never go back more than three or so times a month, lest she attract unwanted attention and had to remember to feign a close call or an entire loss to keep them coming, but even regulars had trouble remembering who took their silvers, mead was her friend in this case. Smells that reeked from men who had been hard at work from the break of dawn mingled with that of apple ciders and watered down drink. Tovi shared a knowing look with the barmaid, rolling her eyes at the drunken patrons and swatting away bosom-pinching hands. She sat at her usual seat in the corner and began to rap on the table, barely heard over the din of the men. A few confused looks turned into wicked grins as they turned toward her, and pockets jingled as they made their way to her table, eager to gain more, or regain what was lost.

"Tovi! Planning on returning my silvers any day soon?"

Tovi laughed good-naturedly, "Can't say that I'm eager t,o Barnon, You will have to earn it". Men crowded around the table, even some newcomers, 'fresh meat' as she used to call them.

"Tovi! My wife is still upset with me over the last time, cut us a break will yeh?"

"Well I wasn't the one who gambled away her best yarn, you're not one to let her nag you anyways." The banter started as usual, many were friends who had learned to stop trying, she wasn't one to let them hold grudges, and the occasional round on cleared up any bad tension. Those who didn't agree were sent to be dealt with Carn. She swallowed hard on the thought, she would have to be careful tonight, resources were running scarce and as much as he didn't like it, they needed the coins.

She went through the usual lot and faked a win for the new ones, encouraging them to try again, as if they had a chance. The tavern had begun to die down as men were leaving, an early morning for nearly all of them. She sat by the hearth and paid for mead for herself and a wench who usually kept her company, then bid them a-night. She took the back road to camp, seeking refuge away by paths that held less traces of others. She rolled up her sleeves, it was a cool night and the difference was welcoming and calming, she fiddled with her dagger and counted her earnings: 7 silvers and a few coppers.

She could've done better but her gut instinct told her to not push it, and if she had learned anything from her father it was that you never ignore a gut instinct. She enjoyed clearing her mind for once and smiled to herself as she remembered Carn would be returning in two or so more days, there were not many stars out, which was the only thing troublesome as bends in the path could be hard to navigate at night.

"Where's the mage, girl?" a hoarse voice hissed from behind her.

"Tovi tensed and her hand landed on her dagger quickly enough. She whipped around toward the voice. "Show yourself!"

"Her ears perked at the sound of shuffling feet nearly 15 paces away,. She unsheathed a thumbs length of her blade. The darkness hadn't helped much with her demand, but a large man a full head and shoulders taller and broad had taken shape in the faint glow in the night. She vaguely remembered him as the more distempered patrons, usually thrown out after a few drinks, if she remembered what the barmaids spoke of him correctly. She took a step back as he began taking a few forward, drunk but not enough to be unaware of what he was doing. "You and that damn mage, the both of yous have no idea what you've done, have ye?"

"One step closer and I will gut you like a pig."

The man bellowed a laugh, "You know, she blamed me for losing them coins?".

He was coming closer now, all of the sudden breaking into a run and with a sharp crack of skin-against-skin Tovi was sprawled on the ground, her jaw throbbing where his hand had made impact and flashing in her eyes. She struggled to rise when a boot had made impact with her side. She cried out helplessly, her eyesight flashed from the pain. She rolled over onto her back and barely missed another kick, she groped for her dagger in the dark, locating its silhouette a foot away from where she was.

"Don't think you're getting away, whore."

The man grabbed her by the hair and pulled; she gritted her teeth as she swung a leg and hooked her boot behind his knee, making him fall when she pulled sharply. She struggled to reach her dagger while still on the ground when she was knocked back again and had her wrist forcefully twisted. Her eyes widened in horror as he held her wrists with one hand and began to undo the laces of his trousers with the other, his intentions clear. She struggled beneath him but her but he had locked her knees under his sheer weight. The lecher glared her down as forced a leg between hers, the smell of mead and the like reeked off of him. She spat in his face and he sneered, "I'll teach you proper, whore, nice and gentle I promise," he grabbed at her breast as she tried not to cry out.

She could see the dagger out of the corner of her eyes, in arms reach, she wriggled and sent a knee at his groin, but the distance between them wasn't enough to cause enough impact. The man roared on impact and his grip lessened, Tovi freed her wrist and thrusted her knee upward once more. She twisted and got out from beneath him, groping in the dust for the dagger's handle. Her hand found the worn, familiar extension and gripped. She locked eyes with the man who violated her before he could register what was occurring.

She held the hilt until her fingernails bled from the grip and the next moment she had the full weight of the man against her. A hot and sticky mixture of sweat and blood had covered her as Tovi tried to steady herself. Blood was trickling from his mouth, his eyes dilated in disbelief. Her breaths were fast and shaken as she pulled the dagger out from his chest, as if she were watching what she was doing to him rather than committing the action herself. She re-plunged the blade between his ribs once more, stopping his last desperate gasps. She pulled out the dagger and dropped it beside herself, leaving it stained in the dirt as she felt energy being drained from her.

* * *

><p>Feedback is appreciated, I reply back to everyone.<p> 


	4. Judgement

Nasuada has come to drop the bass.

please overlook minor grammar errors

* * *

><p>Tovi didn't hear the "Ho, there!", nor the thundering horses as they nearly missed her with their hooves. She didn't feel the chainmail painfully scraping her skin as the guards picked her up, or when the tied her arms behind her and threw her into a vacant and poorly pitched tent. They're silhouettes outside the tent remained there for as long as she was conscious, not that she would have left for that matter. It hadn't registered that it was already morning until she woke; gasping as if she there wasn't enough air for her left in the world.<p>

Her eyes darted rabidly and she struggled against the rope until she had realized she was, in fact, restrained by the fibers. She managed to sit herself upright, clenching her teeth and groaning aloud as her pain settled in. Her wrist was being forced into a position it was not meant to bend, she was sore on her inner thigh, her arms, her breasts.

Everything ached, but she had killed the man who tried to rape her.

She had killed him.

Tovi began to retch on air at the thought, though nothing emerged, she continued to heave even after nausea had passed. She was tired and hungry, her mouth dry from even spittle. Tears formed and left a trail along the path of her nose, until they finally landed in the dirt before her as she was unable to wipe them off. A million and one thoughts raced through her mind, rebounding off of one side and slamming into the next until her mind was added to the list of aches.

What were they going to do to her?

Would she be executed?

Did Nana know where she was?

Who would tell Carn?

Those thoughts had hit her like any other physical blow. The Varden maintained order in their camps, if they had hanged a man for even killing an Urgal, why would they should they spare her any different fate? She wasn't any different than the next man- and even viewed lesser: as a woman. Tovi had little time left, she would die a fool if she wasn't going to admit it, and the only question left was how long she had.

The spirits must have heard her as a pair of guards forced open the tent. The gripped her forearms, forcibly lifting her up, and cut of her restraints. Wordlessly, they threw her a waterskin, her voice unable to crack any vocal form of her gratitude from lack of use. Her wrists and arms were red and raw from the rope, her left covered in blue and yellow tinges. She looked at her clothes, her trousers were not as torn as they could have been, only filthy. Her tunic on the other hand were stained with another's life-blood and turn by the hems, she could repair that much another time she though hopefully, _if she was allowed "another time". _Tovi let out a hysterical laugh under her breath, she was certain she was going mad if she thought she had time to think about appearances.

The guards handed her a chamber pot, but when she reached under her tunic to begin undoing the laces that held up her leggings, though when she had noticed the men did not seem even the tiniest courtesy and turn their backs, decided against it. She didn't resist as they retied the rope, though thankfully she had her wrists bound in front of her, rather than twisted at her back as they were for the previous night. She was anxious to learn what was to happen would she be sent elsewhere or remain in the makeshift cell? As if eavesdropping on her thoughts, the guard announced, "We are to take you to be received by Lady Nasuada, there you are to be subjected to whatever justice her Ladyship deems appropriate on behalf of the Varden for your crime—"

"-There has been a misunderstanding-", Tovi interrupted, struggling to not allow her panic to leak into her plea.

"—and you are to remain silent." He barked at her. They tied the rope to the back of the other guards' saddle, where she was to walk behind the horses; thankfully the distance did not go through the main camp.

She was led to a large, red-dyed cloth tent. She broke into a cold sweat but made a conscience effort to hold her head high, whatever it was that determined her fate she would face it as nothing less than her father's daughter. A dark-skinned woman, whom she could know as no one else but Lady Nasuada unmistakable with her air of command, sat on a high backed chair. She eyed Tovi with a chin resting on the back of her hand as a tall, long-nosed man conversed with her in hushed whispers from her side. Her face revealed naught.

The guards stopped at attention on either side of Tovi, "We have delivered her, Milady"

"As I have noticed," she didn't seem patient for such formalities, and with a wave of a hand, "You are dismissed." The guards bowed and deserted her, the air stiff as they clinked out of the tent in all their armor.

"What is your name?"

Tovi struggled to meet the leader of the Varden's intent gaze, "Tovi Morganasduaghter, I-if it pleases you."

"Oh, it does please me. Is this your dagger?" she inquired as a member of her personal guard took out the same dagger that had been plunged between another man's ribs only hours before daybreak earlier that day. Tovi struggled against another bout of dry-vomiting, but managed to confirm.

"I have heard the account from men who found you the previous night, but I wish to hear yours. Proceed as such."

"Of course, Milady." Tovi clenched and unclenched her fists and began on how she had returned from the tavern from, er, business ventures and how the drunk had followed her. She recalled how he had been under the influence of drink and held her at fault for something he never specified. She admitted to raise eyebrows to taking out her dagger before any moves were made, and could still feel the sting on her body where he had made the initial hit that had thrown her to the dust and dirt road, lifting her sleeves and hem in some cases to show proof of the assault. She trembled as she explained the details of his attempt to rape her, and finally how she had killed him.

"F-orgive me, it all happened so fast, and the next thing I knew—"

"Calm yourself." It wasn't a suggestion, but an order.

The tent flaps were thrown open as Tovi heard the shouts of guards and a woman shrieking. Her caretaker had rushed through the tent, cursing everyone and anything between the ground beneath her and the heavens above.

"How could you do this to her? She is only a babe, a child!, she screamed at a stone-faced Lady Nasuada, "He tried to hurt her!"

Guards had pulled her back as she sobbed, frantically eyeing the girl whose father she had served since the birth her family's first-born.

"No judgment has been passed, if you do not restrain yourself you will be removed."

Tovi let her hair drift over her face; she couldn't let Nana see her like this. "Nana, I beg of you. _Please—"_

"You think I swore an oath to your father to watch over you, just to w-watch you—watch you h-hang like another criminal?" She screamed, more at the one sitting on the high backed chair then at Tovi.

"I'll be fine, just please—go back to Oliver"

Nana darted her eyes between her and the Lady Nasuada before tearing off the holds of the guards and walked out of the tent with the dignity she had left, stifling a horrible sob in a handkerchief.

Tovi met the gaze once more of the hardened eyes of Lady Nasuada. "I will not allow you to hang."

Her breath hitched and her throat closed for a moment too many, she knew there had to be more to what was going to happen to her. Though knowing she wouldn't be swinging at the gallows by sundown was a form of comfort in her state, and as expected she continued.

"I compromise disputes every waking minute of my life, trying to hold the Varden together, and I will allow none to get in the way of that. Man, Woman, Dwarf, Elf, or Urgal: it matters not."

Tovi lowered her head to accept a sentence.

"Have you any experience with a sword for the Varden?" she suddenly asked, Tovi's head shot up and saw that Nasuada had cocked her own to the side, her face continually impassive regardless of her curious pose. The question startled her, "I-I was an archer on the Burning Plains, Milady." She stammered, puzzled where she could be heading with such a question, "I have a good hand with a sword and dagger as well, should Milady care to know."

Nasuada smiled grimly, "I don't think anyone in this tent would doubt your skill with a dagger," she added, eyeing the evidence.

"You should have more faith with the Varden, I understand under the stated circumstances it was defense. However, a man's life was still taken and I would believe it would be foolhardy to take the life of an able young woman of the Varden as well. However, it would also be to no one's benefit to simply flog you."

Tovi's forehead furrowed as she got more confused, what was going to happen then?

Nasuada continued, "No I believe you could be of use to our cause. At next daybreak you will be escorted to report at the tent of Captain Martland Redbeard, who I believe will be arriving with from his last assignment, promptly for instruction. Welcome to the ranks of the Varden's Army."

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading another chapter! Story alert Favorite for more and thank you to those who already have!


	5. Return to the Hillside

Quick warning: this, like actually most of this fic, has adult themes

* * *

><p>"...and that is everything that has happened since you left." Tovi finished with a loud exhale, she felt drained.<br>She chewed her bottom lip, resting her chin on the knees that were hugged to her chest. Carn had returned, as Lady Nasuada had said at her trial, with Captain Martland Redbeard's charge the following day. They sat at the usual spot on the hill for what was probably a few hours as the sun had been setting as she concluded what had occurred over the span of his assignment. It baffled her how in a mere eight days nothing could be the same again, she looked up at Carn, whose expression was that of one carved into stone. They relished the silence that they held between them, that of an understanding only he could hold, as Carn suddenly unclenched his jaw and spit out blood. Tovi looked at him in alarm, "Shit!"

"Sorry 'bout that, bit my tongue" he said, his eyes lightened a shade and he gave her a quick smile. Tovi quickly took off her cloak to offer him something to stanch the bleeding, but he was ahead of her, murmuring in the Ancient language. "Magic, remember?"

"How could I have forgotten?"

There was something different about Carn, thought Tovi, though there was nothing exact that came to mind. He was slower to meet her gaze when they spoke and it was if a little light in his grey eyes had gone out. A little piece of Carn had not returned to her.  
>He glanced her over before asking, "Will you let me see the bruises?"<p>

Tovi tugged her sleeves lower almost instinctively. "You do not want to"

"Tovi, please, let me see", he made a motion toward her, but in response she pushed her self away from him.

"You should not, it doesn't hurt as-"

"I beg of you, I will not linger-"

"Carn, I told you, there is no need-"

"Show me what that thrice-damned, son of a bitch did to you behind my back!"

_"I do not want you to see!"_ she had unintentionally shouted, but he had his hand firmly around her forearm.

He pleaded, "Will you allow me?"

Tovi had turned away from him, blinking back any hint of tears, and nodded her head. She could not cry.  
>Carn had ever so gently pulled back her sleeves to see the ones on her wrist, which was adorned with grotesque shades of mottled purple and faint greens. She grimaced at the sight of them and attempted to pull away.<p>

Carn's eyes bore into hers, "Please?" he asked once more. He raised her wrist to him before he kissed the ugly witnesses once, twice, three times; softly and lingering.  
>Tovi blushed as he began reciting what could only have been the Ancient he finished reciting the strange phrases Tovi felt tingling sensations and was releived to feel the dull ache stop suddenly and watched as the bruises grow fainter in color until her skin had seemed as though it was never marked before.<br>"...Thank you."

"Are there more?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"You promised."

Tovi felt heat rise to her face, thankful for the night being able to mask her blush even by the light of their fire. She held onto the bottom of her shirt and lifted it above her head, twisting the wool inside out, exposing her pale breasts to the night, her nipples pert as they hit the cool air.

Carn's eyes widened as he realized the extent of his request. He tried to avert his gaze toward anything else, but they always managed to return to Tovi.

Tovi found herself oddly confident, finding Carn's expression curious, even if a little amusing. She traced the trail of bruises that led a few fingers width above a pink nipple, the blue marks highlighted by a black stripe. They lead around and under her breast from when the man held her against the ground, promising gentleness with sneers when he would have his way with her. She swallowed hard and exhaled slowly. "Well?" Tovi asked.

Carn hesitated for only a moment as they sat with their legs beneath them, facing each other. Carn lightly followed the trail with his index finger, studying them as Tovi closed her eyes. She gasped aloud as he brought his lips to those bruises as well, her breath hitched as his lips met her skin. When he pulled away he spoke the same phrase he whispered to her wrist and she felt the pressure ease.

Carn looked up to meet her gaze, his grey eyes met her green as they both breathed slightly heavier than usual. Tovi put a hand on the back of his neck and stroked his cheek with her thumb as she pulled him towards her. She felt as though something had taken over as their lips met in a fervent capture. It was as if there wasn't enough of him to meet her. His tongue traced her bottom lip as she tangled her fingers in his soft curls. He worked his way to her jawline as she found herself sitting on his lap in an unconscious effort to be as close to him as she could. Tovi moaned softly as Carn lowered himself to her chest. He cupped the right and left light, airy kisses over the other. She pulled him back up to her and pressed her lips against his almost roughly, wrapping her arms around his neck as they fell into the grass together with Carn hovering over her.

Tovi's vision suddenly flashed and suddenly there was a larger, more calloused hand twisting her breast painfully, reeking of ale. She blinked for a moment, and could only feel, only see Carn moving against her, hints of teeth grazing her neck.

_He sneered, "I'll teach you proper, whore, nice and gentle I promise,"_

Tovi pulled away, her eyes widened at the memory, her hot blush turning to a cold sweat.

_He forced a leg between her and she spat at his face._

Carn looked at her in confusion, "D-Did I do something wrong?" his voice holding nothing but honest concern.

She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly aware of the extent of how exposed she really was. "I can't…" Tovi muttered almost inaudibly.

Carn ran his hand through his hair, "No. It's my fault. I shouldn't have—"

"It's not you," she interrupted, "…It's never you."

"No, I was going too fast, I got ahead of myself."

Tovi's stomach cringed, "I just don't want to do this now, not like this" she said, her fear leaking into her voice.

Carn swallowed hard, "It was _him_, wasn't it?" he had said, as if the mention of him was a curse in itself.

The words haunted her. She turned her back to him, his fists clenched and the hardened glare he had returned to. She slipped back into her worn wool tunic and lifted her hair that had been trapped under the fabric as she worked her head through the shirt opening. Tovi could feel him standing close behind her, he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her.

He bent down to rest his head against hers and inhaled her scent, the aroma of grass and nature where they had just lain together. "I wish I could bring back that man, _that monster_, back from the seven hells just to send him right back there myself." He whispered in her ear, "I will _never_ let anyone hurt you like that again, I swear it."

Tovi twisted around in is arms to face him, "I am happy your back, truly." She confessed to his chest. Carn lowered his arms to wrap around her waist, "I missed you out there, truly."

"As I did, every morning. I would wonder if you were still there to watch the sunrise like we used to together."

He pulled her closer, "Only this time you will be there with me to make sure."

* * *

><p>Review, story alert, and favourite. Or roll around on the floor. I have no control over you, honestly.<p> 


End file.
